The Trunch Trumpet
Late Extra
Note to Paul Teasdale – please provide a new address for the goods you ordered (to verify your identity please note what they were).
February 2005
In April Sid will be nobody’s fool as he tours his native county – having first visited exotic Suffolk. Full details are available on the fixture list, but in general he will be revisiting former triumphs.
“I’m going east to Yarmouth, north to Wells, and way out west to Watton. In between I’m going down to Norwich and back up to Trunch. Going south I’ll be overshooting Norfolk and doing Sudbury which is in Suffolk, but alright otherwise. That mean the highest point of the whole tour will be Watton, and you don’t hear that said very often. At least the North Norfolk News and Agitator won’t be able to use the headline ‘KIPPER WELCOME IN THE HILLSIDE’ again!”
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2005 sees Sid continuing his rural touring exploits. Some people wonder why Sid is so keen on these venues, when the really famous people tend to perform mainly in the big cities. Sid is not some people, however:
“What happen is these famous people perform in big cities, and then they use the money they make to move out into the country. So what I’m doing is cutting out the midden man.
“This year I’m going to Bucks, Worcs, Wilts, Hers, Devs, Somers, and Norfs. After that I may go some other places, but that’s between me and them and the doorpost!”
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Once again Sid is in demand for Folk festivals. He is already contracted to appear at Chippenham, Teignmouth, Priddy, Whitby, Fylde, Bromyard and Swanage (necessarily in that order, due to the calendar). Cambridge, however, continues to ignore him.
“Well that’s alright with me. That’s no skin off my trousers. Because I can assure Cambridge that the ignorance is mutual!”
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The people of Hitchin were so astonished by Sid’s ‘Christmas Cod Pieces’ show in 2004 that they’ve already booked the 2005 version for the very same Sunday!
“They reckoned as how they just couldn’t believe it, but I’m afraid it’s true. As they’ll find out in December.”
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Old sores from St Just – number 22
“When the tough get going, the going gets tough”.
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TRUNCH ONE ON THE RUN
Rumours reaching St Just-near-Trunch suggest that George Kipper (currently wanted by the police, for no good reason) may now be a President in South America. Suggestions that the 86 year old may be involved in coypu farming seem a bit wide of the mark, however.
“They aren’t so much wide of the mark as missing the point. The point is George wouldn’t even know which way up to plant a coypu, never mind how to farm it! As for him being President – I reckon that’s just a case of someone adding the P instead of taking it.”
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Some recent reviews you may have missed:
“Sid Kipper’s irreverent look at rural life tells how it really is. Fusing hard-nosed and irreverent contemporary commentary with his dry and sardonic wit, there’s no room for any soft nostalgia on country living in Kipper’s barrage of humour.”
(The Cornish Guardian)
“An evening of sheer, unadulterated hilarious silliness. Anybody who failed to make it to the gig should count themselves very disappointed indeed as it was a delight from start to finish.”
(Christmas Cod Pieces reviewed in the Surrey Advertiser)
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Sid has been popping up now and then on Radio 2’s ‘The Smith Lectures’ (Saturdays, at 1 o’clock), in which presenter Arthur Smith plays extracts of excellence. Sid himself is not going to let it change his life:
“I’d be more impressed if Mr Smith was appearing in ‘The Kipper Lectures’. Then I could tell him a thing or two about lambing that’d make him really grumpy!”
BACK ISSUES
The Trunch Trumpet is produced and distributed three times a year, usually in February, June and October. It is written and edited by Chris Sugden. Distribution is handled by Ken Wood, for which many thanks. Ken’s contribution is indirectly sponsored by Whitby Folk Week, so thanks to them too. To receive the complete Trunch Trumpet and support your local postman write to:
10 Perseverance Road, Queensbury, Bradford, BD13 1LY.