HOW TO ORDER KIPPER BY PHONE
“A lot of people say to me ‘Sid, how can I book you?’. And I say ‘Talk to my agent, but money helps’. But it’s not only money. Although it does help.
“You see, not every audience is suitable for me. I’ll give you a for instants – children. I’m just too smooth and sophisticated for them, due to me being a grown-up mego-star. Or city people, because they don’t know a lot about anything interesting, and anyhow, there’s never anywhere for me to park the car.
“So, like I say, talk to my agent. She’s called Elaine, and deals with all my bookings. You can ring her on 01377 217080.
“Oh, and money really does help.”